Grief: I Cried Today

My dad passed away on February 28, 2007. I'll miss him always but the tears come less frequently now. Today I put a Jamey Johnson CD in my car player and was fine until his song, You Should Have Seen it in Color played. The tears started at the line, That's me and Uncle Joe just tryin' to survive... You see, I had an Uncle Joe. He and my dad were orphaned as young boys and they did have to try and survive together. The next line that did me in was, That's me and Grandma in the summer sun...that rose was red and her eyes were blue... Yes, my mom and dad got married in June. She wore a red rose and her eyes were blue.

The tears were pouring down my cheeks now as I tried to navigate around the trucks on Southern California's 605 freeway on my way to make visits to hospice patients.

My dad had a hard life. He was a lonely boy when he joined the Navy and sailed off to WWII. He did have a good life with my mom, and had his own family that was with him when he died, but I still mourn for that little boy that lost his parents so young and always had a big hole in his heart. He grew up in the generation that didn't whine and complain, and he never did, but it still makes me sad to think about how many tough times he had to indure in his life. I wonder if he ever knew that I aspired to be like him in a lot of ways. Probably not. I didn't ever share that with him.

Dreams of La Palma

If I'm really lucky, I wake up in the morning remembering the dream I had during the night. I was lucky this morning. I have some very odd dreams. Last night was a good one.

Dan and I, along with our friends Tom and Amy, traveled with a group of tourists to the country of La Palma. Now, I realize there isn't a country of La Palma, but my country was somewhere in either Eastern Europe or Russia. It was a pretty desolate place and definitely wasn't a first world country.

We arrived in La Palma and Amy and I immediately got separated from the group and began wandering about. Fortunately, the residents of La Palma spoke English. At one point we passed a nail salon and the manicurists tried to coax us in for a pedicure. We didn't have time, though, because we had to find our group. We walked and walked and ended up alone in the countryside. We heard wolves howling nearby and were certain we were going to be eaten alive. We rounded the crest of a hill and met other people who were standing there looking at the wolves. Thankfully, the wolves were on the other side of the fence.

Once we made it back to town, we entered a hotel that had many conference rooms. I heard President Obama speaking but we opened door after door and couldn't find him. We then went back outside as a parade of Orthodox priests filed by. They wore the usual robes and stoles, but their robes were a beautiful ocean blue color. We followed them for awhile thinking they would lead us to President Obama and our tour group, whom we were sure was watching Obama, but we lost the priests.

The dream finally ended with us finding Dan and Tom sitting in a restaurant eating lunch. Dan had already ordered my lunch and it was still sitting there.

End of dream. Crazy, huh?

My Muse Founds Its Way Home

I'm ready. I've got my title. I've got my main character. I've got the setting. Now I just need the time to start writing. I think Karen should hurry up and come back to work so I can cut my hours back down. I'm getting tired.

I don't know where my muse has been, but it's back. Maybe it traveled around the world, but more likely it traveled through California because we've settled on Tehama county for the setting. It's probably been sipping wine at the Vina Monastery.

Tehama Grace is the story of Amelia Grace Jameson, a fourteen year old girl abandoned by her father at the Gerke Ranch in Tehama.

Stay tuned.

My New Diet and Writing Plans

Okay, here we go. This is a little schizophrenic but I just seem to need to have a lot going on in my life. I have a new diet plan. It's very simple and so far it seems to be working. I've lost several pounds. Want to know the plan? Eat anything you want but only eat half. That's it. If I order a meal in a restaurant I take half home. When I cook at home I only serve myself half of what I would in the past. I don't feel the least bit deprived. My goal weight is 145 pounds.

My latest writing venture is Textnovel.com. Since I've been unsuccessful selling Bless Us Father, I've gone the serial route and am posting it on Textnovel. You can either read it on your cell phone or your computer. Pretty cool, huh? Maybe someone will see it, love it, publish it.

I'm also just getting ready to start my next project, TEHAMA GRACE. I've been doing tons and tons of research and am ready to put pen to paper. Well...put fingers to the computer keyboard and tap away.

I'll keep you posted.