LA archdiocese to release priest abuse files Documents will not be edited January 13, 2013

I’ve attended church since a little girl. Growing up, I attended an American Baptist Church in Iowa. I was baptized when I was twelve. Full emersion, the way Baptists do it. It was hard to find a church that fit when we moved to California. The Baptist churches we attended were too evangelical. We didn’t get the same feeling as the church in Iowa gave us so eventually my mom stopped taking us. I went with friends to their churches on occasion, but it wasn’t until I started attending the Catholic Church with my husband-to -be that I once again felt at home. I converted to Catholicism soon after we were married, and as most converts do, I became a really good Catholic. I went to Mass, communion, confession, took my children, volunteered in the Catholic School and the church activities, and fully supported the church.

            Imagine my disappointment when I first learned of the sexual abuse by priests within the church. I tried to push it aside and I kept going to church. Then more and more allegations came out. I started reading everything I could about the accusations. I read stories about individuals who were forever changed by abuse. The more I read, the angrier I became. I also learned that it wasn’t just boys who were abused; young girls and older women were as well. I became furious. I stopped going to church. I lost my faith in the Catholic Church. I was heartbroken.

            Then I began writing a novel about priestly sexual abuse as a way of working through it. I invented a character, Mary Margaret Riley, a 15 year old Catholic schoolgirl. Mary Margaret was a composite of all the abuse victims I’d read about. I also invented a priest, Father Antonio Velasquez, also a composite of all the abusive priests I’d read about. I wrote and wrote. I got Mary Margaret through the abuse and onto the other side and I gave her a happy ending. I hoped the real victims of abuse were able to get to the other side as well. Afterwards, I was able to heal and to develop a new relationship with the Catholic Church. On my own terms. I don’t always attend Mass, but I do when I feel like it. I enjoy the rituals, the Gospel readings, and the music. I will never again buy fully into the whole thing. But, I’ve found my own peace with it.

            Recently, the Los Angeles Archdiocese was ordered by a judge in Los Angeles to release the files of the priests accused of abuse to the public. I decided to put a new, professional cover on BLESS US FATHER and had it reformatted for Kindle following a comment someone made on the Amazon review page. I like the way it looks now. I sat down and read it again the other night and it evoked all the same emotions in me that it did while I was writing it. Poor Mary Margaret. What she went through was horrendous. It’s a difficult read, but it teaches a lot. I hope people can benefit from it.

Here is a website that lists all the priests in the US that were accused of sexual abuse. It’s a long list. 

http://bishop-accountability.org/priestdb/PriestDBbylastName-A.html

It’s my hope that we can all learn from these events and prevent them from happening again. I think we were all just too trusting and naïve.