Wednesday, December 19, 2012

The Last of the Pioneer Women/surviving loss


It’s only 6 days until Christmas and so far I’ve managed to get through the season without slipping into a depression. The holiday season usually makes me melancholy. I made a big effort this year to shake things up. I knew it could be difficult due to all the losses I and those close to me have sustained this year. It started off with losing Mom in February and went on from there.
     Today I’ve been thinking about the women I inherited my strength from and I’ve concluded that I’m the last of these Pioneer women. This makes me a bit sad. I’m the last one to remember the old stories of the trials and tribulations those that came before me endured. The losses they sustained were numerous and crushing, but they never let things keep them down for long. These losses included a husband who died in my grandmother’s arms, the death of her oldest child, and the death of her sister who was just a young teenager. My grandmother, Grace Shupe Arnold Kimzey, was ill most of her life with ulcerative colitis, which I inherited from her. Unfortunately in the time she lived, her UC was not able to be cured and she suffered with it until she died of leukemia at 56 years of age. Even though she was sick, she never stopped working and taking care of those she loved. Her mother, Elmira Sargent Shupe, suffered the loss of her daughter, Mary, to a ruptured appendix when she was just a young teenager. Mary’s picture hangs in my dining room.
     Great-granmother Elmira cared for my mother, Kathryn Kimzey Judkins, when she was just a little girl. Grandma Grace had been placed in a TB sanitarium because the doctors at the time thought she had TB of the bowel. Mom lived with her grandmother for almost 2 years. She missed her mother, her father, and her three brothers terribly. In her final years of life, Mom lost every one of her generation. She was the last one left alive. But she didn’t let it get her down. She kept moving forward until it was her turn to go. She always found new things to do, new friends, and she was always helping someone.
     I heard all the stories of homes that burned down, babies being placed in an old wooden blanket chest to sleep since there was nowhere else to put them, and I heard a lot about the Great Depression. Still, they survived. Perhaps they didn’t prosper greatly, but they enjoyed their lives.
     I learned a lot about life from these women. One of Grandma’s phrases was, “This, too, shall pass away.” Whenever something terrible happens, I remember that. It will pass. The pain will lessen. You can go on. You can enjoy the holiday season even though you’ve sustained a loss. I know I don’t ever want my loved ones to mourn for me so much that they aren’t able to go on, and I also know my Mom, Dad, and everyone else I’ve lost would want the same for me.
     Peace be with you all during this holiday season.



No comments: