Reality Check

Today I put my hospice nurse hat on and went to work. There's nothing like it for putting your life in perspective. I'm going to stop sniveling now and move on.

My first visit was to a palliative care patient that isn't dying any time soon. I love to visit him. I fill his pill boxes, check his vital signs, talk with the caregiver at the facility, then he and I sit and visit. Today he really wanted to go out for some Jack Daniels even though he hasn't had anything to drink in 9 years and he's 92 years old. We laughed a lot and then he kissed my hand when I had to leave.

My second visit was also to a palliative care patient to change a dressing on her leg wound. It was also a nice visit. She's a pleasant lady with a bit of dementia which gives her a bit of a childlike innocent quality.

Then I made my third visit to a 45 year old man dying of a brain tumor. He's married to a wife who loves him a lot. He has a teenage son and a preteen son who are having problems accepting that Dad is going to die. He's one of 8 kids, and all his brothers and sisters are around the house, too. And his uncle is there. Thank God for the uncle. He's a retired hospice Dr. and he's the glue that is holding the whole family together. He looked really tired today when I was there. I hope he doesn't have to do this much longer. I left that home with a heavy heart and drove back to my own home.

Enough introspection and wallowing in my self pity for having lost my muse. He'll either come back or he won't. I have bigger things to do.