Being a
boomer now qualifies me as a wise woman. In that status I’m permitted to dish
out unsolicited advice. I also make my own rules, the unsolicited advice rule
being one of them.
The
holidays are upon us. Along with the holidays comes holiday stress. Even those
with a usually mellow disposition can become testy during this time. Those with
a difficult disposition can become unbearable. Over the years I’ve developed
ways that help me cope without going out of my mind.
There are
two types of difficult people. The first type being people you don’t have to have in your life; you just choose
to keep them there. Perhaps it’s out of habit, loyalty, or fear of the hole
they would leave if they were gone. One of my favorite sayings is; Life is too short to drink cheap wine. Life
is also too short to put up with difficult, cranky people that will never
change. Ask yourself, “Do they feed my soul? Do I enjoy being around them or do
they cause me endless stress? Is it always all about them?” If you answer yes
to those questions, search a little deeper and see if you can muster up the
strength to do what you probably have known you should do all along...let them go! You’ll find you’re relieved
when you do.
The second type is those who must be in your life. Relatives
fall into that category. My first rule is; Don’t
give them your soul! No matter what, keep your soul intact. We’ve all heard
of individuals who are beaten down and battered to the point they are no longer
able to think for themselves. Don’t ever let that happen. No one is worth it.
You can’t
always be totally open with everyone. There are those people who will take your
openness and honesty and save it for a rainy day so they can throw it back at
you. Know who those people are and just face the fact that you will have to
keep an invisible barrier up when you’re dealing with them. If it’s happened
once or twice, it will happen again and again.
Never,
ever argue with difficult people. Just smile and say, “You may be right”. Kill
them with kindness. Do the right thing yourself no matter what they choose to
do. If all else fails, walk away. Trust me; you will save yourself a lot of
grief if you avoid arguments. You may be right, but truly difficult people will
never admit you’re right so what’s the point of arguing about it? It only hurts
you.
Mind you,
I’m not talking about truly evil and toxic people. It doesn’t matter who they
are, they should not be permitted around you or your family, ever.
Be the
peace you want to see in the world and it will follow you. Happy Thanksgiving
week!
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