BICYCLES AND FINNS

Our longtime friends from Finland have been staying with us the past two weeks. I’ll call them Ira and Patty. We’ve all been having a grand time together. Rex and I have been vacationing too. We’ve been to the Huntington Library, Fullerton Arboretum, Aquarium of the Pacific, along with countless restaurants, a night at the Fullerton Elks Lodge, and of course Thanksgiving dinner. One of the most fun expeditions was the bicycle shopping trip.

     Ira and Patty are here for almost three months. They love to hike and bicycle. It’s expensive to rent bikes for three months so they decided to buy a couple of inexpensive bikes and then sell them to us when they left.

     First stop was Jock’s bike shop in Fullerton. It soon became evident that buying a bike is quite expensive, too. Especially when you have expensive tastes like Ira does. The four of us walked around and began checking price tags. I found a nice used bike I would have immediately taken out for a test drive, but that wasn’t good enough for Ira. A salesman came over and we asked if there were any new bikes that were inexpensive. His answer, “Maybe you could look on Craigslist.” Note to salesman: That comment was a bit rude and I will never buy a bike from you. As an aside, I tried to straighten the reflector that was clamped under the bike seat on the used bike and it snapped off in my hand. Patty and I got the giggles and almost fell on the floor laughing.

     Meanwhile, Ira had migrated over to the high end bikes so the salesman trotted right over to help him. Patty and I meandered around the store. Rex was looking at the really high end bikes and noticed a $4000 bike on a rack above his head. He reached up to readjust the wheel (why I don’t know) and the bike started to fall off the rack. Thankfully, it didn’t.

     Well, this caught Ira’s attention and he came over to inspect the bike. It was a TREK with electric gear shifting. The bike of his dreams! Of course the $4000 wasn’t exactly the one he wanted. His was to be even more expensive. A plan formulated in his mind. They weighed the bike. He found out they could pack it for him when he would return to Finland and he could take it on the plane. Yay! Oops. Patty put the brakes on. The four of us left the store without bikes.

     The days went by and bike conversation increased. They went to Rex’s brother’s house to look at his mountain bike that he’d offered to lend Ira for the time he’s here. Ira’s reaction was less than favorable. Conversation continued. Ira said he was going to rent a bike when they went to Ojai. Then he said he was going to forget biking altogether and just walk. Patty could buy the cheap bike she’d seen in Seal Beach. Ira wouldn’t buy a bike. After all, he had four at home in Finland anyway. But, there was no bike in the world like the TREK!

     By now Ira had a long face and Patty was beginning to feel like the bad parent, saying no to her little boy. It was fun to watch the exchanges. Ira was working her and I could tell she was going to come around.

     One morning I asked what they were going to do for the day. Patty said, “We’re going to the Jock’s store in Huntington Beach, just to see if they have any different bikes.” They left and I told Rex, “Wait and see, they’ll be back this afternoon and both of them will have bicycles.”

     They didn’t disappoint me. Ira got his wonderful red and white Trek bike with the electric gears. Patty bought a cute little bike that folds up so it will fit in a case. Both bikes are going back to Finland with them. Probably a good thing since I’d just fall off one and break something anyway.

     And to the Fullerton Jock’s salesman...hahaha. The nice guy in Huntington Beach got your sale.

ICED PENIS TREATMENT

The following is a story from the early years of my nursing career. I hope it gives you a good laugh. 

     I was 27 years old, a married mother of a small child and assigned to the spinal cord injury unit. The hospital was, and is a world renowned center for spinal cord injury

rehabilitation. The unit I was working on specialized in caring for patients who had complications that required around the clock nursing care. Most of these patients had been through rehabilitation, already gone home, then developed an infection or a pressure sore that needed treatment.

     Chuy was a 19 year old incomplete quadraplegic, meaning he was paralyzed from the neck down but had some movement and sensation in parts of his body. He'd been in a gang in East Los Angeles and became a quadraplegic due to a gunshot wound. He was tattooed and obnoxious. He had a wound in his groin area from an infected cyst that had to be cleaned, packed with gauze, and dressed every 8 hours. On the day shift, it was my job to do the dressing.

     Each day I would gather the supplies I needed, take them to his bedside and set them up on the table. Once everything was ready I'd put on my gloves and pull back the sheets to expose Chuy's groin area. Invariably, he would have an erection and lie there grinning at me. Sometimes he would bounce his buttocks up and down on the bed and make crude suggestions. Nothing I did or said made any difference. I asked him nicely to cut it out. I ignored him. I demanded that he quit doing it, but he still did it every time.

     Finally, one day I'd had enough. In addition to the dressing supplies, I filled a large styrofoam cup with crushed ice. As soon as Chuy started his obscene antics, I took the cup of ice and dumped it over his erect penis, which to my delight shriveled immediately. I smiled at Chuy in triumph and never had to use the iced penis treatment again.

DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE DURING THE HOLIDAYS

     Being a boomer now qualifies me as a wise woman. In that status I’m permitted to dish out unsolicited advice. I also make my own rules, the unsolicited advice rule being one of them.

     The holidays are upon us. Along with the holidays comes holiday stress. Even those with a usually mellow disposition can become testy during this time. Those with a difficult disposition can become unbearable. Over the years I’ve developed ways that help me cope without going out of my mind.

     There are two types of difficult people. The first type being people you don’t have to have in your life; you just choose to keep them there. Perhaps it’s out of habit, loyalty, or fear of the hole they would leave if they were gone. One of my favorite sayings is; Life is too short to drink cheap wine. Life is also too short to put up with difficult, cranky people that will never change. Ask yourself, “Do they feed my soul? Do I enjoy being around them or do they cause me endless stress? Is it always all about them?” If you answer yes to those questions, search a little deeper and see if you can muster up the strength to do what you probably have known you should do all along...let them go! You’ll find you’re relieved when you do.

     The second type is those who must be in your life. Relatives fall into that category. My first rule is; Don’t give them your soul! No matter what, keep your soul intact. We’ve all heard of individuals who are beaten down and battered to the point they are no longer able to think for themselves. Don’t ever let that happen. No one is worth it.

     You can’t always be totally open with everyone. There are those people who will take your openness and honesty and save it for a rainy day so they can throw it back at you. Know who those people are and just face the fact that you will have to keep an invisible barrier up when you’re dealing with them. If it’s happened once or twice, it will happen again and again.

     Never, ever argue with difficult people. Just smile and say, “You may be right”. Kill them with kindness. Do the right thing yourself no matter what they choose to do. If all else fails, walk away. Trust me; you will save yourself a lot of grief if you avoid arguments. You may be right, but truly difficult people will never admit you’re right so what’s the point of arguing about it? It only hurts you.

     Mind you, I’m not talking about truly evil and toxic people. It doesn’t matter who they are, they should not be permitted around you or your family, ever.

     Be the peace you want to see in the world and it will follow you. Happy Thanksgiving week!

TOURING FULLERTON/COMPUTER GLITCH

I'm a bit frustrated. I wrote an entire blog about Touring Fullerton and when I went to copy and past it I lost it. It disappeared into thin air. I've never had that happen before. Anyway, this is a pretty tree at the Fullerton Arboretum. We spent the day yesterday touring Fullerton with our friends from Finland. It was nice to see the city I live in through their eyes. My days are usually so busy that I drive around without stopping to look. We've lived here 14 years and I've only been to the Arboretum once. Rex had never been there. Wahoos Fish Tacos has been in downtown Fullerton for years and we'd never been there until yesterday. They have the very best fish tacos I've ever eaten. Delicious! I have a new appreciation of the city of Fullerton now thanks to seeing it through the eyes of a tourist. I should do that more often.

OBAMA AGAIN?!

     November 6, 2012 has come and gone and Obama was reelected for another 4 years. Some of us are pleased, some not so much. While out for a walk with Rex this morning he reminded me of a funny encounter I’d had prior to the November 6, 2008 election.

     Rex had been out of town and was flying in to Ontario airport. I was waiting to pick him up and his plane was delayed. Not wanting to park in the parking lot to wait for him, I’d driven around the airport several times. Finally, I tired of that and decided to pull to the curb to wait.

     Now we all know there’s no waiting at the curb, but this was Ontario airport and I’m a blonde older woman in a red convertible. No one would profile me as a terrorist. I sat there awhile listening to music and waiting for my phone to ring and Rex to tell me he was on his way out.

     Then I looked in my side mirror. An airport policeman had just pulled up behind me and was opening his car door. I watched him get out. He was a large Hispanic man and looked rather cranky. Oops. I put my car in gear, rolled my window down, put my arm out and waved bye-bye to him. He was not amused. He put his hand up in the stop position and walked to the car.

     I said, “Officer, I’m very sorry. I know I’m not supposed to stop here but my husband’s plane is late and I’m tired of driving in circles. I’ll move now.”

     Officer said, “There are posted signs. Did you see them?”

     I said, “Yes. I know the rules. I’m VERY sorry and I’ll never do it again.”

     He stared me down. Then he said, “I should give you a ticket for wearing that OBAMA pin.”

     I clapped my hand over the pretty rhinestone pin I was wearing and said again, “Really, I’m sorry.”

     He stared some more and then said, “Okay. I’m letting you off this time, but you need to go over and park in the lot.”

     I said, “Okay, thank you officer. Have a wonderful day.”

     As I drove off and continued driving around the airport in circles (yes, I usually do what I want to do rather than what I’m told to do) I couldn’t help but wonder how Obama had lost that Hispanic vote?

GRIEF AND LOSS, 2012

     Blue Boomer is back but she can only stay today. I’d planned on writing a humorous post but yesterday we went to my writer friend, Diane Schochet’s memorial service. It was a lovely tribute to a wonderful and talented woman who will be missed by many. I shed a few more tears, and began thinking back on this past year. 2012 will go down in my memory as a painful year filled with losses.

     I started out in January with a list of goals to accomplish during 2012. In just a couple of weeks everything changed. Diane was going through treatment for multiple myeloma and I was very worried about her. Then Mom got sick. My whole world changed. At first she thought she had the flu but she just got worse and worse, and it turned out to be pancreatic cancer. Mom didn’t live very long after receiving the diagnosis. I went to her home to help my brothers care for her in her final days. Nothing can prepare you for losing your mother. But, it happens to most all of us, so I was expecting it. I began my year of loss with Mom’s death on February 14, 2012.

     What I wasn’t prepared for was how hard it was going to be to help my brothers clear out the house and prepare it for sale. It was torture to go through a lifetime of belongings. Mom had reminders of all who had gone before her and we had to sift through everything. It was such a monumental task that while I was doing it I didn’t suffer much grief. Afterwards, though was very hard. I discovered I also had to grieve the loss of her home where I’d visited 2-3 times a year for over 25 years. I realized I most likely wouldn’t return to the area again. It would just be too painful.

     During this time another very close friend was going through her own battle with cancer. I worried so much about her but deep in my heart I knew she was going to overcome the cancer and win her battle. She has, and will.

     Then my dog died! It was pretty poor planning on his part. He had been a source of comfort to me during this time. He was always by my side and there to pat and hug when I was feeling really down. He was an old dog who’d lived to be older than golden retrievers usually live to be, but still. Poor timing.

     Diane’s death has been the most recent. She died from a brain tumor, and not from the multiple myeloma. Many of my circle of friends and relatives have also suffered major losses this year. I hope 2013 will be better.

     In the meantime, I’ve learned to put one foot in front of the other and go forward. I’ve been trying to fill my life with activities I enjoy. I’m writing more and after the holidays I plan on taking painting classes again. That’s all we can do. Endure. And then eventually the grief will ease and we’ll become more settled. Until the next wave, that is.

     A final thought. One day I was involved in self talk and I put the question out into the universe, “Where does all this end?” A voice said, “With you.” Couldn’t be clearer, could it?